11 Nov Friendship
During your childhood and teenage years you probably thought about doing (or maybe even did) something just because someone else (who was more popular than you) told you that it was the cool thing to do. Now I’m not talking about something small like someone telling you to try a new kind of food even though it didn’t look appetizing to you. No, what I’m talking about is something that goes a lot deeper… something that if you agreed to do it would go against a belief or moral that stretched all the way down to the very core of who you are. You may not have wanted to do this thing, but because somebody that you wanted to be friends with told you that they would like you better if you did that thing that you really did not want to do you ended up succumbing to the peer pressure. You wanted to be liked (most kids do) so instead of sticking to your morals you caved in and engaged in this undesirable activity in order to gain a new “friend.”
Now, I use “friend” in quotes because this person that convinced you to participate in that activity that you really didn’t want to participate in wasn’t really your friend. Now that you’re older you realize that a real friend would have never pushed you to do something that you really and truly didn’t want to do. A friend would have accepted your answer when you told them that you didn’t want to participate in that activity and they wouldn’t’ve pushed you to do that thing that went against who you are a person simply because they valued who you were as a person and respected your beliefs.
We know that now we shouldn’t have these kinds of “friends” in our life. We know that we should only keep people in our lives that value who we are. We know this. But yet, sometimes we find ourselves surrounded by people who don’t value our worth. This world is tough and scary, and most of us don’t want to navigate through it by ourselves. Having somebody (or somebodies) there by your side to walk with you through this life makes living in this world a little less scary and a little bit more manageable.
Now and again we think that having friends in high places will make us happier, so we revert back to our childhood and teenage selves. You still want to be liked by those people with power because you think that they can help you steer through this world more clearly, so you may sometimes feel the need to change something about yourself so that you can be like these people and be liked by these people. And allow me to clarify some more. When I say people in high places, I don’t necessarily mean that you’re literally trying to befriend CEO’s and CFO’s of fortune 500 companies. What I’m saying is that I do know that there will be people that you come across who have something that you “want,” and you may be tempted to listen to what they have to say and to change yourself accordingly even though what they’re telling you to do is in stark contrast with who you are as a person. You may think that these “friends” have your best interest at heart, but anyone who is trying to change who you are at your core does not have your best interest in mind at all.
You see positive thinker, the thing about friendship is that you shouldn’t have to be around people who don’t want to be around an authentic version of yourself. If they can’t see your value then you shouldn’t want to have them as a part of your life. Nobody should make you feel like you have to change yourself in order to be liked. If you feel like you need to change who you are to keep around certain people then you can better believe that those people aren’t worth having around. You are an amazingly unique human being positive thinker. Your worth is not defined by some other person, it’s defined by you. So be happy being you because when you are confident with who you are you will start to attract people who also like you for who you are.
Wouldn’t you rather have somebody by your side who wanted you to be the best you that you can be? You should have people in your life trying to make you a better version of yourself that is still in line with who you are as person. You don’t need people who are trying to transform you into a completely different version of yourself that is void of all of what makes you you in the first place. But, if you do succumb to what these people are trying to make you in to be, you will end up feeling the effects of it, and it won’t be in a good way either. Being unauthentic takes a toll on your body mentally, physically, spiritually, and emotionally because when you’re unauthentic you put all of your time and energy into being someone that you weren’t meant to be and that’s difficult. But, when you have people in your life who encourage you to be you then you can truly be free because you don’t have to work hard to be you. It’s effortless and natural, and you don’t have to pretend to be something other than what you were meant to be.
Positive thinker you know that you should surround yourself with people who appreciate your worth, but sometimes we are blinded by what we think we need, and we end up forgetting temporarily that people who want us to be fake versions of ourselves will not end up doing us any good in the long run. So if you’ve happened to forget that you don’t need these kinds of people in your life then here is your reminder…
Get rid of the people in your life who don’t appreciate you for who you are positive thinker. You have worth, and everyone in your life should be able to recognize and value it.
So always remember, “When you know your value, you don’t have to beg people to like you, to be your mate, to spend time with you or to love you. Be confident in who you are.”