12 Oct Loving the things that you Love
I’ve had a dark sense of humor for as long as I can remember. The darker it is the more it makes me laugh. It’s rare when I find someone else who shares my taste in comedy, but it’s nice when it happens. I specifically remember this one time when I found somebody who also shared the darkness.
When I went to Italy back in the fall of 2012, I travelled with a tour group. Since it was my first time in a foreign country where English isn’t the main language that everyone there spoke, and since I was going there without knowing anyone, I believed that it would be wise for me to go with a group of people. Sure they were strangers, but at least if something happened to me they would know about it and possibly send help for me. Anyway, the tour lasted for a week, and we went to several different cities while we were there. For the first half of the trip, I didn’t really have anyone to hang out with. Everybody that was in the group was either there with their family members or with their partner. There was one other lady there who was also alone, but I couldn’t really connect with her, so I set off on my own during our free time. My luck, however, changed at the halfway mark, during our stop in Venice.
When we first arrived, the tour guide told us some history about the city. During his mini lesson, he mentioned a prison. He talked about how in the past they used to place criminals who were sentenced to death in the basement of the building. And they would do this so that when the rainy season rolled around they wouldn’t have to do anything with them. They would basically just wait until the basement filled up with water, so that they could let the prisoners drown. To this day, I don’t know why I found this picture that he painted to be as funny as I did, but I did, and because of that, I ended up with someone else to spend the rest of my vacation with. After the tour guide finished telling the story, I looked around at my companions to see if anyone else was also trying to hold back their laughter from springing forward. I glanced from face to face until I finally locked eyes with tour guide’s apprentice. His look mirrored my own, and in that moment we basically agreed that we would be each other’s companion.
I thoroughly enjoyed the rest of my trip, and I was thankful that I had that little bonding moment with him so that I wouldn’t have to be alone. When I got back home, I thought a lot about that moment when our eyes first met, but more specifically, I started looking back to the seconds before that happened. I contemplated about how I wanted so desperately to find someone else to validate what I thought was funny. And then I remembered the relief that I felt when I discovered that somebody else held my sense of humor. But after I thought a little bit more about that relief, I thought about how I shouldn’t’ve craved that acceptance so much. All that should’ve mattered in that moment was that I was enjoying myself. It should not have mattered if no one else thought it was funny. And even though I did end up finding someone else to bask in that snapshot of time with,, I vowed that I wouldn’t allow myself to seek acceptance for what I thought was funny anymore.
Yes, my humor is dark, but at the end of the day it’s not hurting anyone, so I shouldn’t feel guilty about it. It brings me joy, and that’s all that matters. And you should feel the same way about the things that bring you joy. If something makes you smile then hold on to it. You should never feel guilty about liking the things that you like. There is a lot of bad out there in the world, so having things that make you happy is a good thing positive thinker. So, love the things that you love, and keep them close to your heart!