04 Sep Self-Bullying
Sometimes it seems like we are harder on ourselves than anybody else could ever be. When we fail at something that we thought we could succeed at, disappointment usually sets in and that is expected. When our reality doesn’t match what we expected to happen we usually do feel disappointed, but we need to be careful because this disappointment becomes dangerous when it morphs into self-loathing.
We may start to dislike ourselves for the failures we have experienced, and once we start hating ourselves for one failure, it usually isn’t long before we start to beat up on ourselves for other failures that we experience. We may end up reaching a place where all we see is the failures that we experience, and when all we see is the negative we usually end up getting to a place where we end up being mean and nasty to ourselves because we can’t seem to do anything right. We become bullies. And our victim is our self.
And bullies don’t just beat somebody up once and leave. Once they find a victim they keep on attacking this person until they get bored or until they just decide to move on to somebody else. The same thing could happen to you once you start to beat up on yourself. You may have thought that you were only going to beat up on yourself for one failure, but once you get finished beating yourself up for the first time you may also creep into the habit of beating yourself up every time that you think you’ve done something poorly. And once you get into a habit of beating yourself up, it will become harder and harder for you to stop because unlike someone who bullies other people, you don’t have to go searching for your victim because your victim is also the person who is doing the bullying.
But let me ask you this question positive thinker…
If you don’t tolerate other people beating you up, whether it is physically or emotionally, then why would it be okay for you to inflict this kind of punishment on to yourself? You may think that you deserve it, but nothing you do can ever be bad enough that you should think that it’s okay for you to beat yourself up over it, so you should avoid doing it.
When you beat yourself up you have all the power to make the punishment stop. It many be hard to do, but you do have the ability to end the beatings. When somebody else bullies you, you have to find a way to make them stop hurting you, and that can be difficult because you can’t control another person’s actions. However, when you’re the one doing the bullying, you can make yourself stop because you are the only one who has complete control over your own actions. You may think that whatever you did deserves a self-beating, but making yourself feel lousy isn’t going to change your situation. Your circumstance will change when you stop being so hard on yourself. If you’ve ever been bullied or if you ever had anyone do or say anything to make you feel bad about yourself then you know how easy it is for another person’s actions to make you think less of yourself. As long as the bullying keeps up you continue to feel bad about yourself, but once the bullying finally stops you can start to feel better about yourself again. And feeling better about yourself may not come instantaneously, especially if you were bullied for a long time, but eventually you end up getting to a place where you realize that just because you were bullied doesn’t mean that what the bully said to you was accurate in any way. You’ll start to realize that you have done good things and that you have accomplished a lot and that those accomplishments deserve celebration, so that’s exactly what you should do.
Celebrate your victories positive thinker because when you set out to achieve a goal and you do end up achieving it, you should be happy because it wouldn’t have been possible without all of your hard work. And don’t just celebrate the big wins; the little ones are important as well. It’s important to celebrate the little wins in life because the big ones usually don’t come as frequently as the little ones do, and if we sit around only waiting for the big ones to come we may end up being disappointed with ourselves because focusing on the big ones has caused us to believe that we aren’t accomplishing anything. However, when we see and appreciate the small victories, we also can start to give ourselves the push that we need to strive for bigger victories. When we see that we are able to accomplish our goals, no matter how small, we start to see that we are capable of being victorious and when this happens we start to believe in ourselves, which is something that we need to have happen if we are ever going to achieve our big goals.
When you stop beating yourself up over something that you didn’t achieve then you can focus on what you have achieved. You’ve accomplished goals that you’ve set out to accomplish positive thinker, you just have to stop beating yourself up long enough to see it. Making the decision to stop hating yourself for something that you weren’t able to do is half the battle because once you decide to stop inflicting pain on to yourself you can start to find things that you’ve done that will make you not want to think so negatively about yourself anymore.
The path to achieving what you want to achieve first starts with you making the decision to not beat up on yourself when you falter in your plan. Everyone makes mistakes, but you don’t have to beat yourself up for it. Focus on finding the good that you have done positive thinker, and that will help to give you the boost and encouragement that you need to continue on with your goals.
Remember positive thinker, “Keep beating yourself up, and you will find yourself in the same situation, keep praising your efforts and you will exceed your expectations.”