The Friendship List

The Friendship List

Even though I’m not the most sociable person around, most of my fiends are. And it’s always fascinating to me to watch them interact with other people. Talking just comes so naturally to them, and because of this, they have a lot of friends. I could comfortably fit all of my friends into my room, but some of my pals would need a house or two to fit all of their buddies in. Whenever I go to a gathering at one of these individual’s apartments it’s like a nonstop parade of faces. People come in and out all night, and everyone that ends up stopping by is friends with my friend. Sometimes I think that it must be nice to have all of those people in your life, but then as soon as that thought crosses my mind, I realize that I’m happy with the few people that I do have.

Now don’t get me wrong, I definitely have people in my life that I’m friendly with, but I wouldn’t call these people my friends. Like, I enjoy hanging out with them and we can have a nice conversation every now and again, but for me, that doesn’t constitute friendship. Friendship is something much more than that.

I don’t use the term friend lightly. And I was just talking about this very idea recently with one of my flatmates. We were saying how neither one of us just throws that word around. Both of us have people in our life that do this, but it’s just not something that we’re able to bring ourselves to do. I’ve definitely met people who I barely knew and they introduced me to someone else as their friend. Call me old-fashioned or whatever, but when I use that word, I want it to mean something. A friendship is an important bond, so I can’t just go and give that label to somebody that I just met. If I went out on a date with a person, I wouldn’t call them my partner after that one meeting. I wouldn’t even do it after a few more dates. That would be insane! I would need time to find out if that individual was worthy enough to receive that title. And when I say, “worthy enough” I don’t mean to sound stuck up. I just mean that I know what I look for in a partner, and I can’t determine that after just a few dates. And I’m sure you can’t either. It’s the same thing with friends…

I want to have people in my life that I know I can trust.

I want to be able to click with them and have fun with them, and still know that I can count on them in the tough times.

I want to be able to have deep conversations with them that go below the surface.

And I want them to know that I can do the same thing for them.

There’s no way that I could determine if these things were the case after hanging out with someone a couple of times, which is why I would never dream of calling somebody that I haven’t known but half a second my friend.

Now I know that I’ve just spent a good portion of this post listing what I value in a friendship, but just because these are the things that I want, doesn’t mean that they’re the things that you have to want too. Your list may look exactly like mine, or it may look a lot like mine, or it may look nothing like mine. It could be shorter or it could be longer. It doesn’t matter. What is important, however, is that you know what’s supposed to be on your list. Positive thinker, you have to know what you want in a friendship, and you can’t be afraid to look for people who fit that mold. You know what kind of things are going to make your life better and you know what kind of people are going to make your life better. So once you find those people, make sure to hold on to them because friendship is a precious gift that you don’t want to just throw away!