08 Mar The most Essential kind of Love
There are a few people who I keep in contact with from childhood. My best friend growing up isn’t really one of those people. We met when we were in kindergarten, and we used to do everything together. We went to the movies, played outside in my backyard on our playground set, played video games inside, hung out at school, had water gun fights and slip n slide races in the summer time, and so much more. One of my favorite things that we used to do together was go to amusement parks. When we were really little my parents would walk around the park with us as we went on ride after ride, but by the time we got to junior high they started to loosen up the reigns a bit. When we were older, they began giving us a walkie talkie that we were able to use to check in with them. They were still in the park with us, but they were off doing their thing and we were off during our thing, so we could really be ourselves.
A few weeks ago I stumbled upon a photo from when we were kids, and it was from one of our Six Flags trips. We were probably in the third or fourth grade, but when I saw it, a wave of memories washed over me at once. I loved our friendship, and it’s something that I will always cherish. It lasted through age 23 or so, but now we hardly speak to each other. We didn’t have a falling out or anything; we just grew a part. And that’s okay. It happens. I have no ill-will towards her and I wish her all the best in life. It just happens that we don’t have much in common anymore. That’s why I was surprised when she reached out and let me know that she was going to be in town during Christmas time. I had to work, so I didn’t really get to see her. She came by my house and went somewhere with my sister and one of our friends, but I stayed at home. Even though I didn’t go out with them, we did still get the chance to talk for a bit once they got back to my house.
She told me about what she’s been up to since the last time we saw each other years ago, and then she mentioned to me about how unhappy I looked when she saw me, and I was. One thing led to another and she wound up saying that I should get a boyfriend in order to help with my happiness. I told her that I didn’t want one at this stage in my life because I needed to get to a place where I loved myself first. I know it’s cliché, but I don’t want to rely on a man for my happiness. As much as I hate clichés, I also happen to agree with this one. I want to be able to love myself first, and then having his love will just be an added bonus. That’s why I’m spending a lot of my time on working on myself.
I know that I need to love myself. It’s not easy for me, but it’s something that I have to do if I ever want some semblance of happiness in my life. So, I’ve made it a point to make sure to focus on at least one thing that I like about myself each day. Some days it takes me awhile to come up with something. On those days, I usually have to pick something tiny, but the thing is, focusing on that tiny thing is better than focusing on nothing at all. And if you ever find yourself struggling to love yourself then I encourage you to do the same thing.
Self-love is so important positive thinker. Having love from other people is great, but being able to love yourself is one of the most essential things you could do for yourself. Loving yourself is not always easy. Many times we’re our own biggest critics. When things don’t go right, we don’t like ourselves very much because of it. But even though things don’t go right all of the time, we still deserve love from ourselves. So, don’t be too hard on yourself. Find ways to love you!