19 May You are not Alone
I’m a fairly shy person. Talking to people that I don’t know is a serious challenge for me. When I look at someone like my younger brother or my mother, I get kind of jealous. Socializing seems like second nature for them, but it’s always one of the hardest things for me to do. I get super nervous that I’m going to make a fool out of myself, and because I’m nervous about it I normally end up acting in a way that makes those thoughts come true. It’s a little bit easier for me to handle when I’m just trying to chat with one other person, but the more people there are, the harder it is. I’m a complete mess at parties and gatherings. And if I do have to go to them then I make sure that there is someone that I’m comfortable with there. This way I can talk to them if I start getting too nervous. But if I don’t have that person there then I tend to avoid the party altogether. I’d much rather spend my Saturday night at home than in a crowded room full of strangers that I don’t feel comfortable around.
Another problem that I have is thinking that people aren’t interested in me and that they feel bothered whenever I’m around. I’m a fairly low-key individual and because of this, I often think that I don’t have much to bring to the table and that other people think this as well. That’s why a lot of the time I also try to avoid reaching out and talking to my friends. In my mind I’ll only be bugging them if I do because they don’t really want to be around me in the first place. And these feelings that I have cause me to withdraw into myself quite a bit, and when this happens, I end up feeling pretty alone. In part because during these moments I’ll actually stay locked up inside of my room, and also because I feel like I have no one that I can talk to or confide in. The thing is, that even when I feel the most alone, I always have someone that I can go to. My friends and family do care about me, and it’s only my insecurities that are telling me otherwise. I can turn to them if I want to, and if you think about it, you have people you can turn to too when you’re feeling alone, that is unless you’re pulling a move like David Henry Thoreau did during his time near Walden Pond…
For just over two years, this famous author went to the middle of the woods to be alone. He recorded this time in a book he wrote, entitled Walden. He spent time communing with plants, animals, and everything else you can find in nature. While it’s nice to get away and disconnect from the outside world for a few days every once in a while, I couldn’t imagine doing it for over two years like him. Being at one with nature, appreciating the simple things in life, and getting to know yourself better is something that everyone should do, but you don’t have to do it like Thoreau. In this instance, he truly was alone. There were no other humans that he could connect with. He couldn’t just pick up the phone or walk out the door when he was ready to socialize with other people again, but this is not the case for you.
I don’t know you personally or what your social life is like, but I do know that you have at least one person in your life that cares enough about you that you can turn to whenever you feel like you’re alone. Just take a few moments to think about who that person is for you. Is it a parent? Sibling? Neighbor? Classmate? Coworker? It might take a while for you to come up with somebody, but the simple act of you realizing that you do have someone that you can go to, can even make you feel like you’re less alone, and that’s the first step.
Positive, thinker you are not alone. Even if you feel like you are, there is always someone there for you, you just have to be brave enough to reach out to them!